093 - The Top 5 Signs You Have Not Actually Forgiven Someone

Sep 21, 2026

They hurt you. They may not even know it. And while they are out living their life, you are waking up every single morning replaying it in your head. The offense is not hurting them. It is hurting you. And Jesus knew that, which is why forgiveness is not optional.

What We Cover in This Episode

• Whether offense is inevitable and what Jesus says is coming for every single one of us

• Why unforgiveness is not a justice system, it is a prison you are building for yourself

• What the Lord's Prayer actually reveals about how often you are required to forgive

• The progression from hurt to offense to resentment to bitterness to division and how to stop it early

• Why forgiveness and reconciliation are two completely different things

5 Signs You Have Not Actually Forgiven Someone

• Sign 1 -- You replay the event over and over in your mind

• Sign 2 -- Your body physically reacts when you think about them or see their name

• Sign 3 -- You avoid places and events because they might be there

• Sign 4 -- You keep bringing it up with others and get angry if anyone questions your attitude toward them

• Sign 5 -- You feel happy when something bad happens to them

What Forgiveness Is Not

• It is not saying what they did was okay

• It is not automatic trust being restored

• It is not giving someone unlimited access to your life again

• It is not forgetting, it is releasing

• It does not require their apology before it can happen

How to Actually Start Forgiving

• Start with prayer, say out loud that you forgive them, even before you feel it

• Pray for their blessing, not their harm this is one of the hardest and most healing things you can do

• Look at everything you yourself have been forgiven of

• Understand that the blessing is waiting on the other side of the bitterness

• Get counseling if the wound is deep, there is no shame in doing the work

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Available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

If you are still carrying what someone did to you, this episode is going to show you that the prison door was never locked. You just have to walk out.